Sever
by Koure
Summary: Zack made a tough decision, and for all that it felt wrong, was the only right thing to do.


_Story Title: Sever  
>Author: Koure<br>Words: 3,047  
>Summary: Zack made a tough decision, and for all that it felt wrong, was the only right thing to do.<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII in any way, shape or form. I just love it to pieces._

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><p><em>I don't want to do this! I don't want to! But we're going to die if I don't. <strong>He's <strong>going to die if I don't. Please, please wake up. I can't get you free by myself, and there's only one other way! Don't make me do this! _

_Goddess forgive me, Cloud... Please, I will never let myself forget who's fault this is, I will hate myself, but you... Please don't hate me, don't leave me, even though you'll have every right too!_

**~0~**

Light blue eyes opened to gaze at the ceiling, slightly dazed from pain medication and unaware of the surroundings. Near platinum blond hair framed high cheek bones that, while setting his face into a definably matured look, also happened to have retained his boyish features as well. This was Cloud Strife, a cadet of the ShinRa army for several months and aspiring SOLDIER.

Cloud blinked a few times, turning his head to gaze out of the window by his bedside. Outside stood metal and glass structures, busy, crowded streets, and the train stations that lead down to the slums.

He was back in Midgar then, and by the look of it in the 32nd Floor Infirmary. Cloud breathed out a sigh, pieces of his last mission coming back together. It had been with Zack, at the Coal Mines near Corel. They'd been sent to eliminate some monsters that the burly Mining Men hadn't been able to take down. They'd entered the dark, smog like mines, and searched deep into them for the better part of the day. After finding nothing and figuring it was nearing night they had decided to pack it up and try again the next day. They had gotten about half way up, then... They'd been ambushed, by earthbound worms that reminded him of the Midgar Zolom, but were nowhere near as large. Zack had been fighting with his steady strength, using his standard issue sword and a fire materia. Cloud too had done his best, protecting their rear while the SOLDIER carved a blood filled and gory way out and occasionally using his skill with a gun to take down the oncoming monster.

One of the Worms had hit the wall in a panic when Zack nicked it with his sword... The whole cave started shaking, and the roof started caving down on them. Zack had grabbed him and they'd ran... But they hadn't made it. The dust had been too thick, and they'd taken a wrong path. They got buried... And then what?

Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, focusing. He'd gotten hurt, pretty bad... His arm and leg had been pinned beneath tons of rock, and there was debris covering him. His vision had been fading in and out, and he'd tasted blood thick on his tongue.

Zack... Zack's materia had busted, crushed between his reinforced body and rock, the fragile items had cracked. Zack's fire materia had burned the raven haired man pretty bad on bursting, and his cure materia had deteriorated into a green, smoke like substance, and faded out of existence. Zack had... Zack had gotten some of the rock off of him, gotten his leg free... Cloud's memory ended there. Just a thick feeling a of excruciating pain remained.

A distinct feeling of wrongness was nagging at him as well, there was something off... Cloud attempted to sit, noting that he wore no shirt but most of his stomach and chest was covered in bandaged, as well as his left arm, which he was using to push him up... A sharp, agonizing jolt, ran through his body and his arm trembled and collapsed on him, and his right shoulder throbbed with pain. Grimacing, Cloud looked at his shoulder with narrowed eyes- and promptly froze in shock.

His angel blue eyes widened, slowly, as if that would change what he was seeing. His left fist curled into the blanket, barely keeping his nails from puncturing his palm.

"No..."

His right arm... His right arm was gone. Severed at his shoulder in a shoulder dis-articulation amputation. Cut just before the Scapula. It was thoroughly bandaged, but he knew what was beneath. Sutured skin and bloody flesh.

Cloud barely made it to the restroom, (tearing the IV in his remaining wrist out and the Medical Monitor pads from his chest, no catheter, thank the Goddess) before he was vomiting into the toilet, down on his knees.

_My arm..._

_It's **Gone.**_

When he was done being sick, he heard a gentle knocking on the bathroom door, which was wide open. He spit into the toilet, flushed his stomach acid and the like away, and looked up, shaking. A young women, a nurse, was gazing at him in concern and sympathy. He vaguely recognized her from the few times he'd been up here.

"How are you feeling, Mister Strife?", she asked, carefully helping the shell-shocked blond up.

He was silent. His whole brain felt like it was shutting down in defense. His face closed off.

"I suppose not very well...", she said somberly at his lack of reply.

She lead him back to the bed, explaining that his arm had been severed from his shoulder on mission to ensure his survival, while she reattached the monitor pads to his chest. She left the IV hanging off the side of the bed.

_On mission. Then Zack?..._

"The Doctor is going to let you rest some more before coming in and talking to you. He's recommended that you get a prosthetic automail if you want to continue the SOLDIER program, so that will be something he'll discuss with you. And Mister Strife... You had a request for visitation from a First Class Soldier named Zachary Fair, should we allow him in?", she tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear nervously. She had answered two of his questions, Zack was apparently well enough to walk around on his own, and he'd most likely be the reason why Cloud no longer had two arms.

He nodded slightly. A kindling of anger ignited in him.

"Alright then, I'll be back right before visiting hours end", she said, and disappeared out the door without another word, and without waiting for Cloud's reply.

Cloud lay propped up on the angled bed, for several minutes, listening to his heart beat on the monitor. He stared at the bland off-white wall beside him, and after a moment, reached out and drew the curtain over the window, darkening the room marginally.

He could hear Zack coming before he reached the door, the leaden sound of his boots on the tiled floor clearly expressing his hesitance at facing Cloud. The Soldier stopped at the door, taking a deep breath, before turning the handle and stepping in. The first thing Zack's electric blue eyes met, was Cloud's heated gaze.

Cloud watched Zack dip his head down, hiding his face with unruly Soldier shook with suppressed emotion, and the air of happiness he usually radiated was dark and cold. Like Zack was caught with a snare of depression around his neck, and he had given up on getting free. Cloud swung his legs over the side of the bed to stand, a small frown on his face, but Zack took several quick steps and sunk to his knees, his face hidden in Cloud's thighs and his arms wrapping tight around himself.

Cloud remained still, and almost didn't hear the string of whispered 'I'm sorry's coming from his distraught friend.

When Zack began shaking, beating Cloud's own trembling with heart wrenching sobs, Cloud weaved his hand through Zack's hair. His anger drained away at his friends misery. He closed his eyes and let Zack cry for the both of them, all the while stroking the Soldier's soft black hair comfortingly and gently.

The Cadet gingerly slipped his hand down below Zack's chin after opening his eyes, and tilted Zack's face up with little resistance. Tears trailed down his cheeks thickly and fast, from eyes normally sky blue but now darker with sadness and guilt.

"Cloud..."

The blond read it all in his eyes, Zack had been in a shitty position, having to make a decision between hurting himself and hurting his friend, or risking their lives. Sitting for those few seconds he could risk, deciding while the rocks slipped and fell and the Monsters screeched and tried to get to them. While he checked his PHS for a signal and winced at his burns as he tried his best to get his best friend free. And finally facing the truth of what he'd have to do.

Cloud almost forgave him right then, but found that a little part of him couldn't and that it would be untruthful to say he'd forgiven Zack at that moment. He felt that he would be able to, someday soon though.

"I'll be alright", Cloud said softly, brushing Zack's tears away.

"It's all my fault though!", Zack wailed in anguish, throwing his arms around Cloud's mid-drift. He clung with desperate strength, and (Semi) accidentally pulled Cloud down off of the bed and onto his lap.

"Please don't leave Cloud! I'll help you as much as you need me to, and I won't let you get hurt again, _I _won't hurt you again!"

A hint of surprise gathered in Cloud's eyes, and he hugged Zack fiercely before returned his hand to his dark hair. Cloud gently stroked the back of Zack's head as the 17 year old buried his face in the blond's neck.

"You see it like you hurt me directly and intentionally, don't you?", Cloud murmured to the shaking young man, who nodded and tightened his arms around Cloud.

"I was angry with you at first, because I didn't understand", the Cadet spoke, his eyes closing as his lips brushed fine dark hair and his cheek fell to rest against it. "But I'm not now, and I don't blame you for doing what you had too, what you didn't want to", he continued, "I'm not about to give up what I've worked for, and that includes your friendship. We've had rough patches here and there, this is just another one of them. All will be fine".

Zack shuddered against Cloud, his fear calming, even as his sorrow burrowed it's way to his soul and latched tightly to it. His breath hitched now and again, but his tears ceased falling, and his grip loosened a little. He was a man, wasn't he? He should be okay now that there wasn't a reason to be upset. Except... He still felt awful, deeper inside. Just because Cloud was letting it go didn't mean he had the same right.

He could feel Cloud trembling, and pulled back some to study the blond thoroughly, like he should have done when he first entered, instead of breaking down. Cloud was pale, but otherwise looking well. The Doctor's had done a good job cleaning him up and fixing whatever mistakes Zack had made with the... Amputation...

His eyes went to Cloud's right shoulder, all bandaged and neat looking.

"Zack", Cloud said, his tone quietly reprimanding.

The Soldier jumped and looked at his friend.

"Sorry...", of course Cloud would be ashamed of it, and embarrassed when someone looked at it. Zack looked into Cloud's snowy blue eyes, spirit lightening at seeing how strong his Chocobo was. Cloud could survive anything thrown at him, it seemed. He'd survived a lot already.

But then Cloud sighed, and a world weariness that Zack rarely saw in the determined young man surfaced. Cloud leaned his head back against the clean white sheet of the mattress, moving to press his palm against the cold tile.

Worried and feeling a strong desire to help, Zack adjusted their positions some, to make the tired blond more comfortable. He was between Cloud's legs, with either one at each side, splaying past him. The Cadet was sitting on Zack's lap, which Zack now uncurled his legs out from under himself into a relaxed criss-cross way. He leaned forward and pressed his ear against Cloud's chest.

"What are you doing?", Cloud muttered.

Zack remained silent, because saying he wanted to listen to Cloud's heart sounded like it might be pushing the lines of friendship a little far, and while Zack did a lot of things that he knew bordered on romantic, he had realized that Cloud was _aware _of how he felt. Cloud continued to let him display his affections, even though... Even though the blond didn't feel the same way. He was willing to make a sacrifice to make Zack happy. Sexuality had been discussed between them, once upon a time, and while Cloud didn't have a problem with homosexuality, he himself could and would never see men in the way he saw women.

So Zack didn't push it too hard, for fear of losing Cloud's friendship, but the selfish bit of him was all too happy to take advantage of his friend's kindness.

Cloud didn't ask again.

They remained like that, Cloud eventually drifting off to sleep for the next few hours. Zack thought about whatever came to mind, and often looked up and watched Cloud's sleeping face. He had the day off on medical leave, though his burns had long since been healed. Around six in the afternoon, a nurse knocked on the door (Thankfully not opening it), and quietly informed him that visiting hours would be up in 30 minutes.

Zack woke Cloud, who responded with a groggy and half formed 'I'm awake', and helped him back onto the bed where he promptly passed out again. Zack chuckled at the very teenager antic, and tossed the covers over the boy.

He then hesitated, his fingers tracing the line of bandages, and he went down on his knees again, his chin resting on the bed. He had a few more minutes, right? He carefully ran his fingers over Cloud's shoulder, bile rising in his throat as he spotted a few blood splotches. His fingers strayed over to Cloud's neck, and then face, gently feeling out the dips and curves around his lips and eyes, running over the blond eyelashes _very _softly.

Time slowed down and the few minutes left panned out for what felt like a longer time, where he just memorized every bit of Cloud's face and his eyes occasionally strayed to the bandaging. He would never forget that he'd done that, even if he was fo-

But Cloud didn't say he forgave him.

Zack's breath hitched and he bit his lip harshly to keep from making any noise. It wasn't his right to ask Cloud to forgive him anyway, he shouldn't be so surprised... Besides, Cloud was still his friend, wasn't he?

_'What about when he has to get the automail surgery?...', _Zack's mind supplied quietly. It was a painful process, and not recommended for minors. Zack had seen plenty of Wutai war veterans live without limbs instead of getting the replacements. Did Cloud know about how taxing it was to have an automail limb attached to the body?

At 6:30 he stood up and brushed his knees off out of habit. He leaned over Cloud and pressed a kiss to his forehead, taking a moment to inhale Cloud's scent, rain and snow that was soft, sweet, and clean, like any Soldier would if they got close enough. It was a habit they had all picked up, with their enhanced sense of smell. You didn't often find someone with such a nice natural scent.

The young man stroked Cloud's cheek, his thumb tracing Cloud's bottom lip for a moment. He stood up straight and reluctantly turned to leave. Zack tried to keep his boots from making too much noise against the tiles, as it seemed like the thoughts in his head were weighing him down. He closed the door behind him after idly flicking the light switch off, and was still for a moment, his keen ears listening into Cloud's room. Cloud's breathing was very quiet, it wouldn't be possible for the average human to hear it. He also listened to the heart monitor's steady beeping for reassurance, before he set off down the hall and to the front desk to let the nurse know he was leaving.

**~0~**

Back in the darkened room, a pair of light blue eyes opened and stared at the ceiling, empty of life.

But the single hand that clutched the cool sheets, like a lifeline, held an unimaginable amount of uncertainty.

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><p>This is just to show that my brain is indeed working over my stories, and that it's working <em>fast, <em>I'm coming up with too many ideas. -.- I'm not sure if I'm actually going to continue this or not, it was more or less a one time thing, unless people actually want me to continue. Either way, it's not going to be very long. I did enjoy writing it though, and it's one of the (Three?) one-shots I'm working on.


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